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Current Residence: Somewhere between this world and Insanity...
Operating System: Windows (Sucks!)
MP3 player of choice: Song: Without You I'm Nothing (Placebo)
Favourite cartoon character: Calvin
Personal Quote: It all depends on the way you perceive it...
To those who dare… :headbang:
... I present Voigt-kArgggf!!! :O Putted together to access milimetrically the level of derangedness of the subject (meaning, you… :stupid: ), to unveil the dark truth about your true impulses. :chainsaw:

Though it was first conceived with a female subject in mind, you male-guys- who-might-want-to-dare, can let your girlie side arise and still do it... :teddy:

Results of the test will be given by note since the results might be too shocking for your friends to know the real truth about you… :censored:

There are various areas of life that need to be accessed, so if I feel encouraged (or not necessarily... :evillaugh:) it is very likely that other sections of Voigt-kArgggf might appear in the future…

Before, some words of worship to the movie Blade Runner :winner: , from where the idea of this test arose (though most of you may – understandably...  – not see the connection… :slow: )

Oh, and... it's also good to be back to... :)

And now, my brave droogies (Clockwork Orange rules too! :#1: ) good luck for the test! (you're goona need it... :evillaugh:

:sherlock:  1. You’re passing on a deserted street and suddenly, when you turn the corner, you see a man bleeding deeply and badly breathing, lying on the floor. Next to him, you see a bag full (and spilling) of packs of notes; 500€ notes… You:

:pointr: a. Look for a mirror inside your purse, straight your hair and put on some lipstick, grab the money and go. You always wanted to be rich and beautiful…
:pointr: b. Kick the man in the groin, nod your head, grab the money and go. Men are filthy pigs of nature who should know better; money goes best with women…
:pointr: c. Look for a mirror inside your purse, nod your head, put on some lipstick, kick the man in the groin, straight your hair, grab the money and go. You always wanted to be rich and filthy pigs of nature should know that money goes best with beautiful women...

:sherlock: 2. You’re passing on a very crowded street and you see two little boys fighting over some box of candies, brand Kargggf, your favorites. You feel an intense desire of eating Kargggf candies but the nearest shop is about 37 seconds from you (by feet). In order for the boys to drop the candies, you:

:pointr: a. Yell in direction of the two boys: “these wretched kids have attacked and robbed those candies from that poor old lady (fictional) Kill them!!”…
:pointr: b. You assault the nearest stopped driver, take his place, run the car over the two kids, grab the candies and go…
:pointr: c. You approach the two little kids, say “Oh, can I see that?!” kick the two little kids in their little groins, grab the candies and go…

:sherlock: 3. You’re passing on a deserted street and see a dog with a starved look on his precious eyes. Knowing you have half of a meat sandwich on your bag (god knows how it got there!) you quickly present it to him. When he reaches near you, you:

:pointr: a. Draw the knife you had next to the half of a meat sandwich and… zappp! – censored… – At least tonite you will have a proper dinner…
:pointr: b. Stick the half sandwich under his nose but when he tries to take a byte at it, you quickly pull 5 cms (or inches) away and the dog with the precious eyes only grabs thin air. You keep repeating this procedure, laughing more intensely at each failed attempt of the dog with the precious eyes, till finally the dog with the precious eyes succumbs. You give a final laugh and leave, feeling somewhat relieved, since your stomach was starting to ache with all those laughs…
:pointr: c. Kick him in the groin…

:sherlock: 4. You are at home with your brother when he receives a phone call. A friend of his, who lives just the other side of the street of your very small and isolated village, felt really bad suddenly and his mother called Tommy, your brother, to help her and take him to the hospital, many kms (or miles) away. Your brother knows he is strictly forbidden to use your mothers car BUT this is clearly an exception to the rules and he asks you to tell mom what just happened. After a while, your mother gets home all stressed up; she only has 8 hours to buy the Christmas presents and she needs to establish a new world female Christmas shopping record and for that she desperately needs the car Tommy has just taken. Knowing your mother keeps a shotgun in her wardrobe, you:

:pointr: a. Say: “I’m sorry mother but Tommy-threaten-to-beat-me-up-and-throw-me-into-the-river-if-I-told-you-he-took-the-car-in-order-to-have-sex-with-that-sleazy-slut-who-lives-in-our-rival-village!!! Ooooooops…”
:pointr: b. You rush to the window and start yelling: “Tommy!! Tommy, mother needs the car desperately! Tommy, don’t do it! Tommy, where are you going?!” You return to your mother and say with a candid look on your eyes: “I’m so, so, sorry mother; I tried…”
:pointr: c. Present to your mother several photographies, from different angles, you had disguisedly taken from your brother grabbing the keys, previously edited in photoshop, where you added a vicious and devilish grin to his mouth and a vicious red look to his eyes…

:sherlock: 5. It’s 10.11 pm and you’re getting yourself ready for a very important date this evening and you’re already running a little late (as usual). Suddenly the lights go out and you realize in terror, looking outside your window, that there has been a general blackout. You still had not time to arrange yourself and you have no other mean of alternative light on your house to see how fantastic you can look! Since the last general blackout lasted for 4 hours approximately and you only have 2 more hours, maximum, to arrange yourself you decide to grab all of your make-up stuff and a bunch of clothes and all the things you remember that can affect your general beauty and use the mirror of your big building elevator. You live on the 106th floor and the only elevator there has emergency power supply. As you are about to enter the elevator you see two candlelit persons coming around the corner, Mrs. Bottom, age 85, and Mrs. Winterbottom, age 77, both mute. Mrs. Bottom is a very ill person and only goes out to go to the hospital, so you assume that there is where she is going. You:

:pointr: a. Quickly rush inside before they see you, press a random bottom button and then press STOP, use the elevator emergency key you stole from the administrator when you dated him, and disable the emergency system (except for the lights of course). 105 floors is a good exercise for older people…
:pointr: b. Quickly rush inside before they see you, press the 107th floor button, leave in the 107th floor, quickly rush through the stairs to the 106th floor again (when you were a kid and misbehaved, you’re father used to make you climb down the stairs blindfolded so doing this in the dark was a piece of cake…) use the elevator emergency key you stole from the administrator when you dated him, open manually the doors of the elevator, and lead Mrs. Winterbottom, age 77, and Mrs. Bottom, age 85, in. It’s about time for people to start looking for solutions to avoid Social security collapse…
:pointr: c. Run towards Mrs. Winterbottom and Mrs. Bottom screaming “FIRE! FIRE! Get into your house!!”. Once they are inside you use the master apartments key you stole from the sick bastard administrator when you dated him, and lock them inside, leaving the keys on the door. Mrs. Bottom already lived more than 80 years, sure she can hold on for a couple of hours more…

Hope you enjoyed it... :bye:

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CheKee Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2009
bloody25 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2007  Professional Filmographer
muy linda galeria!!!!
Florbela-Ferreira Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2005
Feliz Natal e Bom Ano Novo =P

:santa: :party: :hug:
redonda Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2005
FELIZ NATAL :santa: :xmas:

MERRY CHRISTMAS :rudolph: :santajark: :snowflake::alienxmas:

******:hug: :blowkiss:
JamesSpelt Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2005
thanks for dropping by and the comments :)
Saradesbois Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2005
Thanks a lot for your comments and the :+devwatch: :aww:
Girija Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2005
Gracias! Sabes ke? Me vengo a vivir a barcelona!!!!!!!! LOOOOOOOOK[link]
tiagocorreia Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2005
Good gallery :+devwatch:
lllariaPiX Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2005
acias por el watch!
Girija Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
Gracias por el watch! :hug:

Cada vez k veo tu avatar me río! jajajajaja
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